I have a Mansion

No, this isn't referring to the game M*A*S*H... and unfortunately it isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds. I have a "mansion" is the phonetic way of saying that: I have a man chin. Every time I moan that I have a man chin, John asks, "you have a mansion? I want a mansion!" yeah. haha.

So back during my first year of college, for some reason my hormones decided they wanted to be more masculine. I began growing these thick, coarse, dark hairs on my chin. There really weren't that many, but it was still embarrassing, so I shaved them off. I think back somewhere in my past I heard a horrible beauty rumor that if you shave hair off it will grow back darker and thicker. Well, I must be living proof that that's true. Over the years the few hairs turned into a small little forest of hairs, right on my chin. Two little patches, one on each side. Sometimes people would tell me that I had dirt on my chin. What do I say to that!? When I KNOW it's NOT dirt, but I'm mortified that they would discover that it's HAIR! And once I had a college professor who was concerned for my mental and emotional well being and he asked about the dark patches on my chin, believing them to be bruises. That was embarrassing.

To manage this manly growth on my face, I've shaved, plucked, done electrolysis, smeared dirt all over my face so the spots on my chin blend in... nothing has worked permanently. In fact, it's progressively GROWN worse as the years go by. About two years ago I even tried laser hair removal. I endured the zapping pain, the swollen redness of my face, and the smell of fried flesh for a few months in hopes that this would be the PERMANENT removal of these stupid black hairs growing on my face. And after my last appointment, I was ecstatically thrilled that there really was no more of that thick hair growing on my chin! It lasted for about six months, and it really was the happiest time. The feeling of a smooth face... MY smooth face, was heavenly!

Then, slowly, little at a time, the hairs started coming back. Except, I noticed they seemed to be growing in places they weren't growing before. I was getting more of the hairs along my jawline and on the right side of my neck rather than my chin. With more time, though, my chin filled in too. I began shaving them again, always meaning to go back to the laser hair removal place and see if they would zap my face again for free, hoping there was some kind of guarantee. Alas, I became pregnant before I ever made it back to the clinic, and I can't be zapped by lasers if I've got a baby in me. So I'm bearing with it, and it really is horribly obnoxious and annoying. My 6 year old sister likes to pat my face, and along with that comes comments like, "you feel like my dad!" Oh dear. Don't say that, please, don't say that. I KNOW it's true, but just pretend it really isn't that bad, okay? For my sake?

I used to be completely paranoid that people would notice this deep (well, not so deep, only SKIN deep) "dark" secret of mine, but I've gotten over that by now. Obviously, since I'm revealing it to the world. I figured though, that I would write this post so that all of my female friends can know, when they look in the mirror and feel like they're having "one of those days," that their "beauty" problems could be a LOT worse. Just think of me next time you feel like complaining and be extremely grateful that you don't have a mansion.