What Would I Do...

without my family. I must say that in some very interesting ways, my family inspires me to CONSTANTLY become a better person and I am soooooo grateful for that! Because of my family (and this is just my immediate family, the one I grew up in) here are some of the things that I have the pleasure of thinking and learning more about:

• LGBT anything
• effects of sexual abuse
• effects of emotional abuse
• Atheism
• mental illnesses:

*depression
*schizo-affective disorder
*post-traumatic stress disorder
*bipolar disorder

• divorce & separation
• apostasy (def: a total desertion of or departure from one's religion, principles, party, cause, etc.)

As "dysfunctional" as that list may seem, it really isn't. I have a lot of respect and admiration for my family because it seems to me that no matter what each member is constantly striving to learn more about themselves and to become the best person that they can. And that's a quality trait that I admire in anyone.

Another reason why I am so grateful for my family? Well my own beliefs are constantly challenged and I feel like it has really helped me to think a lot deeper about why I believe what I do and why I do what I do. One major thing that I've noticed in myself is a complete lack of desire to say anything negative about someone else and their beliefs. I try to look for commonality in my relationships and focus on that. This article of faith means a lot to me: We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

One thing that I do in my mind though is try to reconcile others' way of living to my own beliefs and understandings about life and the purpose of it. In admitting this, I'm confessing a weakness, I know. In a recent conversation with my mom, I was feeling really concerned about some of her choices and beliefs and as I was trying to express my concerns, I actually listened to myself and I heard exactly what I was doing. I laughed and said, "you know, I just learned something about myself that is way more important than what I'm trying to say to you." I quickly wrapped up whatever it was I was trying to say and then said, "so basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that you're being a hypocrite because you're not living according to my priorities in my value system!" We had a good laugh about that. It really is probably one of my biggest challenges to overcome in relation to my family... this reconciling their choices to my value system. In Ether 12:37 it says, "Because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be made strong." I know that the first step of overcoming weaknesses is to recognize and acknowledge them. Neal A. Maxwell said, "It is not an easy thing … to be shown one’s weaknesses. … Nevertheless, this is part of coming unto Christ, and it is a vital, if painful, part of God’s plan of happiness." Striving to come unto Christ is my life objective and I am completely committed to the process.

Anyway, I am grateful for my family because I learn so much from them. Most of what I learn is about my own weaknesses, thus giving me the opportunity to humble myself and seek strength, direction and understanding from my Comforter. So, note to family: please bear with me, keep loving me, keep listening to me, know that I love you and know that I'll never give up on learning to love you for who you want to be.