I had such an awesome experience a few weekends ago. It started with a Producer Revolution forum where we did an exchange party. Anyone could offer anything of value for an exchange. It was one of the funnest parties I've been to. I did a few exchanges: one was to watch this couple's two children every Tuesday night for a few hours while they take their mother to a group meeting at Southwest Behavioral Center in exchange for them coming and filling in all of the nail holes throughout our new house with wood putty. I'm all over that exchange! Another one was for 10 of Steve Palmer's best essays on CD in exchange for a "night out on the town" where I will watch his kids and then give him and his wife $25 to go towards a date for them to take. I was super excited about these exchanges, but the one I was most excited about was this: I exchanged $200 with Thomas Dyches for an opportunity to go up to Provo with him and be on the Producer Revolution Radio Show with Garrett Gunderson. Thomas was excited to do some more stuff with me, like take me on a tour of the new headquarters and such. I was REALLY excited for this. The radio show was scheduled to be on January 5th. I decided that I was just going to make a quick trip out of it, and get a book on tape and leave early Friday morning to get to the show by 8:30 before it started at 9, and then leave to come back to St. George when it was over. I didn't want to be away from John for too long.
That plan was going to work great until Thursday night when it began snowing like absoluetely crazy. I altered my plan a little around the weather. I convinved John to take Friday off work so that he could come with me on the drive. He and I would both feel safer with us together. I thought about leaving late Thursday night, but decided to just leave super early in the morning after I called Thomas (who was on the road already) and he told me that the roads were pretty bad, but it was clearing up behind him. We figured that I would be able to get up there in time if I left just a few hours earlier. So the plan became that John and I would set our alarm for 3:30 to leave by 4am. I was so excited to go that I didn't think I would be able to sleep. I wanted to just pull an all nighter and just go for it, but John was pretty tired and convinced me to at least lay down.
I fell asleep around 2 in the morning. Neither John or I heard the alarm when it went off at 3:30. I popped up awake around 5:30 and realized very quickly that even if I left right at that moment, I might make it just in time for the radio show, and that would be if the weather was absolutely perfect and there was no traffic. Which, needless to say, was NOT the case. The weather was horrible and the roads were awfully dangerous. I was at a loss of what to do. It took me a couple moments to re-orient myself. I offered up a prayer for guidance as to if I should still go up to Provo, even knowing that I wouldn't make it for the show. I received my answer that yes, I should still go. I laughed and began getting ready as quickly as I could. I had NO idea why I should still go. By all accounts, it made no sense. And it made even littler sense when we got out on the road and were traveling in CRAZY conditions: not being able to see the asphalt, it's snowing, it's icy and cold, our windshield wiper fluid wasn't working so we couldn't see out of our windshield, the wind is blowing hard so we couldn't see anything but white, we're traveling at about 30 MPH and we know we are going to reach Provo WELL after the radio show ends. What were we DOING!??? It made no sense.
John was concerned, of course, and thought that it would be better if we just turned around and went home. I suggested that we make a decision one way or the other and take it to the Lord in prayer. Because of the inspiration I had already received earlier that morning, I posed that we continue going. I offered a prayer and said, "Heavenly Father, we're going to keep on traveling up to Provo, we pray that if thou seest it would be best for us to turn around and return home, then please let us know within the next hour. Otherwise, please help us to be safe as we travel on up to Provo." We kept going. I was feeling incredible. I had butterfly feelings of excitement in my stomach and I felt such a surge of faith that I KNEW we were doing the right thing, even though I had NO idea WHY. I had faith that we would see blue sky, that the way would be opened up before us as we traveled. Amazingly, as we traveled, the clouds DID part and we were able to see blue sky. I saw it as a miracle.
When we arrived around Beaver, we pulled off on an exit to wash our windshield and get something to eat. When we got back in the car, John alluded to the fact that he thought we should just go back home. It had been over an hour and I hadn't felt any change in my feelings. John himself admitted that he hadn't felt strongly that we should turn back, but he didn't feel strongly that we should keep going either. He called it a "stupor of thought." He tried to argue that because he had a stupor of thought, it meant that we should go back. But I brought up the point that I DID feel very strongly that we should continue forward. So what should we do when since we had received seemingly conflicting answers? By this time, we were back on the freeway driving in Provo's direction with me in the driver's seat. The conditions went from not the greatest to even worse as we continued to drive. I asked John what a missionary companionship would do if they were faced with an experience where each companion felt strongly they should do two opposite things. John said, "probably pray." So I asked him if he would offer a prayer and he did. When he finished praying, I said, "thank you," but then I continued to pray in my heart very sincerely to my Heavenly Father. For looking out ahead out of my windshield I saw absoluetely the worst driving conditions I have ever seen. Plus, there wasn't much I could see out of my windshield since we couldn't get our wipers to work. My prayer became one out of absolute necessity for God to strengthen my vision and open up the way before me, for Him to guide our car and bless us to be safe. I was literally praying like crazy. I didn't feel there was any way for us to survive driving in the conditions we were in unless I was praying like crazy.
After a silent 5 minutes in this, John, who is also seeing the same crazy conditions and wondering if NOW I will believe him that it is a good idea to turn back, asks me, "so... how are you feeling?" I just blurted out, "I'm doin' fine. I'm praying like crazy." John busted out with laughter which was unexpected and I lifted an eyebrow to him before I began laughing too. I then proceeded to tell him of my experience of prayer that I was having. I said, "if for nothing else, this test of my faith has been worth totally worth this experience." Well, we got through the worst of it, both of our faith strengthened in the Lord and in the power of prayer. John even admitted to his dad who called to see how we were doing that "it was kind of fun!"
We made it up to Provo around 12:30. I convinced John to take me up to Murray so that I could visit with my best friend from high school. John stayed in the car and slept in the cold. When I came back to the car and we were trying to decide if we should go back to St. George or not, I suddenly broke down and expressed some sincere concern about what was happening in our relationship together. I was feeling very frustrated with John and he was feeling likewise with me. It seemed we had two different agendas and in our efforts to keep them, we were draining each other's emotional energy instead of building each other up. Through our intimate talk we had, John and I shared an experience together that brought us closer than we've been in a while. It was a wonderful experience, one that was well needed in our relationship. I knew then that THIS was the reason we needed to go. This was part of this test of faith. After our talk, John and I were able to happily decide together to dinner and a movie together and then stay in a hotel overnight, just us. We did so and then drove back to St. George in the morning.
So on this crazy trip, I never even saw Thomas, I never saw Garrett. I didn't get to do any of the things that I had exchanged for, but the exchange that I made with Thomas definately created more wealth than I can imagine. It created a wealth of opportunity for me to strengthen my faith and to strengthen my relationship with my sweet husband. It was desperately needed. My testimony of prayer and faith was reaffirmed. I learned "for the first time... again" that we "do fine" WHEN we pray like crazy. I learned that in spite of the storms that rage around us, we can find our way WHEN we pray like crazy. The Lord truly does hear and answer our prayers. He is mindful of us. He knows exactly what experiences we need to have for our growth and development in the process of becoming more like Him. We can only know what His will is for us if we are willing to pray like crazy. I hope to develop this characteristic of "praying like crazy" at all times in my life. I want my Heavenly Father to be involved in the details of my life. I want Him to know that I feel that I desperately need his help to make it through each day. I believe with all my heart that if there is any hope of me succeeding in living my dreams that it will be because I have involved the Lord in the little details. I will be doin' fine because I'm praying like crazy.
